Well its not been quite a year and don't even think of asking my why I came back to this site.....

So I am bored off my ass. I have read all the "interesting" news articles on my super-duper my.yahoo page. I have watched a couple of videos on YouTube. Then something says to me "Hey, I wonder if that blogger account is still there?" Well apparently it still is here. I read a post from "Dude-sucker" AKA "The Gnats Trumpet" and he says its been six months and I should get off my ass and start writing again. Felt kinda good knowing that someone was reading.

It looks like Birdie is no longer Birdie but is going by her given name. Brave soul that she is.

Death In The Afternoon is still writing strong about law stuff and life in NY City.

And I have done..... ummmmmm....... NOTHING. As if I needed more pressure to get off my ass and do something. Maybe I like being a lazy bastard and trying my best to get to that prozac state of mind that allows me to endure the mundane lifestyle without free thinking. The free thinking makes my head hurt.

Well since it appears that over 4000 people have hit on this page and left about .5 seconds later is semi-impressive.

So I suppose an update is in order. Hummmm the last nine months.

Well to start my marriage is strong. Stronger than its ever been. I see long years ahead of me and the wife doing what we do. The love interest in my past is just that. IN THE PAST. She is a bitch (hummmm that's a bit rough on her) she is more like a stupid little cunt (yeah that's better) that almost ruined my life. Its amazing the perspective one can get after two years of insight. I look upon it all as a vast learning experience that probably saved my marriage. It did inspire to me start this blog some 2'ish years ago. Although I did not actually WRITE for that period of time.

Humm on to other things....

Still trying for a baby only now the idea is on more solid ground than it once was. (I think, well I am pretty sure =) )

I turn 35 tomorrow (starts looking for the cane and walker for the old guy)

Sunday I complete my last two dives to become scuba certified.

I am still working in a high school although I am growing to hate the job where it once held a sense of importance to me.

I might be growing out of playing video games like a fanatic and just jumping on one from time to time. (This one is not for certain but I play far less than I did in the past) Could I possibly be growing up? Naaaaaa!

Still coming to terms with my bouts of depression....Don't know if its even possible to get out of it.

Still smoking....praying that the wife getting pregnant gives me the reason to quit. Currently I just don't see much sense in quitting.

Still a major porn hound. Don't think that's going away anytime soon.

Gaining some weight. Up to 218 now. Yeah I am becoming a porker. Don't have the desire to tackle the added 8 pounds right now.

Still broke all the time although the bills steady getting paid on time.

Still searching for some kind of something that I would like to do when I grow up.


Well there you have it. The last nine months that basically says that I have not advanced my life much but I still keep at it despite my slothfulness.

Maybe I will get back on the writing again. Maybe I wont. I know there is plenty to write about but there is that whole "lazy sack of shit" thing going on. (See previous paragraph).

Catch you all later. If there is any "you all" left out there.

John

Dang, they still have not put the word "blog" in the spell checker. Ironic that that spellcheck for blogger.com does not recognize that "blog" is a word.

So long, fare well, and all that shit....

Its time for this blog to disapear. I no longer feel the need to write. There is too much shit on the net as it is. No sense in adding my little pile..........

NO I am not one of those tree hugging hippies....

BUT, I would like to go on the record as saying that "I DO CARE!" about what us people are doing to our world.

It is actually really ironic that I say this because not just two days ago I cut a check for *GULP* 29 thousand dollars for the biggest gas sucker of an SUV for my wife. She wanted it so she got it. So I warn you before hand. I am probably the biggest hypocrite in the world.

I love the ocean. It is the most beautiful place on this planet. Even in our murky seas near where I live the sea life is spectacular. Its not as colorful as the reefs around the world but all the same it is quite wonderful. When I look at the ocean and see a gas slick I really want to do something to get rid of it. It pains me to see refuse floating about in the water.

The area I live in has become quite the hot spot for logging companies. There are acres of land being cleared for the tidy profit from wood prices these days. When I drive by a spot that was once wooded and see the crap that is left behind I wonder what does this mean in the long run for us.

Well I get a little bit of satisfaction in the belief that whenever our mother earth gets tiered of what we are doing to her she just needs to shrug her shoulders some and we will no longer be a problem. We will be gone. However I really don't wish for this to happen. I dream of a future where my offspring live in a fantastic world where nature is plentiful and we still manage to thrive as a species.

No matter what we do to this planet it will go on until the day when our sun runs out of fuel and explodes engulfing her. Even if we turn it into a cess pool there will still be life. Not pretty but there will be life. Look at the most un-hospitable places on our planet. Life abounds even there.

I love snorkeling. Its the one thing that reminds me that there is true beauty left in this world even though the people in it are mostly not. There is a part of me that would die if something happened to those places. Not that it would matter much but all the same I would feel the loss on an epic level.

What does this post mean? Does it have a point? Nah, not really. Just some thoughts I am having right now. Nothing more.

I would love to think that I could do something about it. I mean really impact something but how does one do that? I am sure it falls along the lines of NOT driving an SUV that is totally impractical. But here I am with one.

So much to say and really no way to say it all....

Recent publicity into the war in Iraq, things like the new show "Over There" and the once flood of articles that have fallen to a trickle that relate just what is really going on over there, have really made me somewhat critical of our government. I am not talking about the bitching about this tax or that tax but a basic blooming of a belief that one day we as a country are going to fall. Most likely not in my life but not soon after that.

There are many reasons I say this. The main reason is that I feel as though the government is no longer by the people nor is it for the people. Those words ring a bell?

I once was a staunch republican. I felt that democrats were the carebear treehugging punks of our nation. The reality of the situation is that neither one of those parties really represents what it is that I believe in. See I still have this delusion of truth and justice. Those words ring a bell?

Based on my meager understanding of the details of our government it really disqualifies me as anyone that could really be all that critical of the system. I know that my job actually makes me part of the system and maybe part of the problem. I know I do my best to perform my duties with a strict sense of right and wrong but is that really enough?

I will say though that I believe with all my heart that somewhere, someplace there is a person that would serve this country with selflessness and vigor. I will also say that this person will NEVER see the oval office because this person will not horse trade for what is right. You know, that whole "hey there pal, I will vote for this bill on "the end of poverty in America" if you vote to make it legal for my lobbyist to dump their toxic waste into my districts rivers". This person will not be a democrat or a republican. This person will be honest and tell people what they NEED to hear and not what they want to hear. If you look into this persons past you will not find any misappropriated funds, settled law suits, no sexual escapades. You will find nothing but a person who has lived their life to better serve others. IF this person ever saw the main political arena the other parties would make him disappear. (Yes I believe they still do that in this country)

I am sick of reading about how Bush is all about the oil. If he was not an oil tycoon in another life then this would be a mute point. I am not here to say one way or the other but it does detract from anyone’s ability to lead when allegations are made. On a side note I would love nothing more than to have the strangle hold the oil companies have on the world taken away. We have the ability to function on exponentially less oil but as long as those people are in power that will never happen. Why is it you ask that gas is over three dollars in some places. Easy! We will pay over three dollars a gallon. End of discussion. I get off the point though. To say that Bush is NOT motivated by oil would be a foolish statement. The real question is "HOW motivated by oil is he?"

I see a problem with looking down the barrel of another Clinton in office. Its not so much that its Hillary. (Which is spooky in it’s own right) Its the fact that memorizing the presidents names just got a hell of a lot easier. There is something wrong with only two families leading our nation for so long. It makes me long for another peanut farmer.

I want Iraq to be free. I want that for the whole world. But at what cost? My house has more than doubled over the last 3 years in value. Its not because I live in some wonderful setting. Its because the materials are so dam expensive you could not afford to do it at the original price. There are many Americans that will never get the self-gratification of owning a new home. They will never get to realize the American dream (if it’s even the same dream that it once was). That may sound trivial to compare human suffering to homes built but there is human suffering everywhere. Where does it end and frankly how did it become our job to fix the world? I would rather see my tax dollars go to housing people HERE first. If you do not take care of yourself then it is impossible to do anything for others. If America is rotting from the inside and we keep looking outside what does that mean for us?

How is it that we get relief to the earthquake people abroad in one day and it takes almost a week to get aid to people in Louisiana?

Ahhh the hurricane. There is tons of quality stuff to talk about there but I might just have to save that for another post.

The main point there is HOW IN THE FUCK DID WE MANAGE TO FUCK OUR OWN PEOPLE? Did any of you pick up on the REAL American spirit when watching that footage? People looting, little girls getting raped in shelters, gangs running amok in city streets unchecked, POLICE OFFICERS caught looting, MY GOD WHERE DOES IT END? I see where the American people are going and its not that fucking good let me tell ya.

You may think I am crazy on this one but the second that FUCKING ASSHOLE got a blow job in the Oval office. The exact same office that Ronald Reagan refused to enter without a tie on. The downtrodden of our nation saw that as a sign that "Hey if he can shit all over our nations honor and principles then so can we."

They call them "Yobs" in England. Here we call them "Thugs". The same thing applies to them both. No respect for anything other than the now and the ability to instantly gratify what ever it is that they desire. They see the old bastards in political office doing it so they figure why cant they in their little universe? Defiance of the law has become the “trend” and its not for such a compelling issue as the civil rights movement or something of that nature. It stems from a break in the chain. I have met many parents that “broke the formula” with their children. The parents are successful, YET they feel that even though they got their asses busted wide open for stealing a pack of gum it would not be a good idea to do the same for little Johnny.

So basically we are screwed in a lot of ways. I get frustrated to no end when I try to think of something that I could do to make it better. Then I think about things that I do. Hey, I love porn. That’s defiantly not moral or acceptable by the old standards. I really just stick my head in the sand in pure frustration. My online gaming helps me to escape the reality. Sure I am a good citizen in the sense that I pay my taxes. I cut my grass. I pay my bills on time and have a killer credit score.

So what does one do other than spend time trying not to think about it and getting headaches when I do spend time thinking about it? Every now and again I see the faint glimmer of hope when I look at very very very few select kids today but then I just end up thinking “How long before the system beats him/her down into submission?”

HEY!

Well for all that care I am still alive and kicking. I am back in the schools and things are out of hand. I just wanted to stop and take a little time and say hi to you guys and all that.

Things are going pretty good. I have tried to compose some things in the past couple months but I have not been inspired. It seems that my best writing came when I was depressed or in a shit storm in my marriage. Now all I can say is that things are good with the wife (she is still not prego but still trying) and no other problems are about. Yeah I know. BORING!

If I come up with something good and worth writing about I will certainly do it.

Been gone for a while.

We took a trip to florida. Didnt think to post that. I hope to have the pics from the trip posted soon.

**having problems with digital camera uploading to puter. Working on it. Should not be long.

Its HOT....DAM HOT

Ever worked in a polyester uniform with a kevlar vest on when its 100 degrees outside? I have and it SUCKS ASS. Heat index of 119 the other day. This is out of hand. I love the summer but this is beyond summer.